In The Groove
  • Shop
    • Fashion
    • -White Shirt Shop
    • Beauty
    • Lifestyle
    • Wellness
    • Groove Approved
  • Menopause Registry
  • Fashion
  • Beauty
  • Wellness
  • Lifestyle
30 Ballet Flats That Prove They’re The Shoe...
Heat Wave Or Hot Flash? Your Guide To...
BeautyPie x Jenna Lyons Made The 5 Perfect...
White Shirts, Blue Jeans: A Match Made In...
Swarovksi’s New Collection Is The Accessory Of The...
Packing 101: Summer Vacation With A Carryon
The Summer Sneakers We’re Kicking Around In
The Only Sandals You Need This Summer
What I’m Loving For August – My Birthday...
Colorful Shirts Are The Summer Trend We Love

In The Groove

Inspiring Women To Own Their Age & Style

  • Shop
    • Fashion
    • -White Shirt Shop
    • Beauty
    • Lifestyle
    • Wellness
    • Groove Approved
  • Menopause Registry
  • Fashion
  • Beauty
  • Wellness
  • Lifestyle

SIGN UP

Stay In The Groove

Subscribe for good times.
We'll party like it’s 1979.

LifestyleLove

Hooking Up At My Age

Remember those glorious days, long before online dating and Facebook, when you never knew where you’d stumble into your next romantic liaison?  It could’ve been at an art gallery, a…
by Stacia Friedman January 27, 2019
Hooking Up At My Age

Remember those glorious days, long before online dating and Facebook, when you never knew where you’d stumble into your next romantic liaison?  It could’ve been at an art gallery, a beach volley ball game or, swear to God, while driving on the Freeway. (He was on a motorcycle. I was enroute to an assignation. Don’t ask!)

Back then, we didn’t look for love on Tinder or Match.com. We looked with our eyes and, more often than not, found it everywhere. I distinctly remember complaining to a friend in those halcyon days, “I’ve only been with seven guys this year.”

If someone had told me then that I was more likely to meet a unicorn than an attractive, reasonably sane man after I turned fifty, I would’ve smacked them. By that age, I imagined I would be safely ensconced in marriage or happily cohabitating. Who knew that I, Ms. Party Girl 1979, would be spending Saturday nights alone with my cat watching Dateline?

I deeply resent the effort required to “hook up” these days. First you have to fill out an online questionnaire that asks more about your dating habits than your Aunt Rosalind. Chinese food or Italian? Smoking or non-smoking? Circumcised or au naturale? You get my drift. Then they want photographs, a personal essay and a credit card! 

Having gone that route, I resigned myself to be officially retired from The Dating Game. I figured I had more than my fair share of romance when I was still estrogen based. Why be greedy?

So, there I was, standing in line at Whole Foods, waiting to pay for my Panko Encrusted Tofu Florentine, Pistachio Kale a la Romanov, and BBQ Spare Ribs.  When something slammed into my butt. It was a grocery cart.

“Sorry, ma’m. I didn’t see you there,” said a large, disheveled man. The line was long and hardly moving. How could he not see me?

“Are these fat free?” he asked.

I followed his gaze to an assortment of small pastries wrapped in cellophane.

“I don’t think so,” I said and turned my back on him. I was getting a weird vibe.

“You work here?” he asked, a bit too loudly.

“No.”

I was wearing a hat and coat, standing in line to pay for my lunch, why would anyone mistake for an employee?

“Sorry, ma’m. I thought you worked here,” he repeated.

Okay, I thought, the poor man has some form of cognitive dysfunction, I thought. He’s harmless. I’m in Whole Foods, for God’s sake. Nothing scary can happened here other than a wedge of cheese costing more than sofa. But then his voice boomed again.

“Are you two together? You would make a cute couple.”

The man in front of me, who up until that moment had been no more than a parka with legs, swiveled around. He was startlingly handsome and wearing the kind of horned-rimmed glasses that scream cool. I was mortified.

“Want to date?” he murmured under his breath.

“Sure,” I said, “I’ve met people in stranger places than this.”

I was using sarcasm, my fallback in an embarrassing situation, hoping the loose cannon behind us wouldn’t fire again. Still. I was secretly thrilled to be the recipient of a pickup line, even one delivered under duress. The awkward moment ended as the cashier hollered, “Next!”

Mr. Cool went his way. I went mine. But in my peripheral vision, I was aware that we were both heading to the same dining area. Pretending not to see him, I grabbed a stool by the window and replayed the incident in my head while picking through my kale. Should I have said something? Was he just being ironic? I judged him to be significantly younger than me, but not so young as to break any statutes.  And how did I know if he was even available?

Maybe this was just a funny story he would tell his wife… or husband.  Ya never know. I evaluated my ensemble. Maroon turtleneck, ancient cardigan, sweat pants, old lady running shoes. All topped by a grey beret and unwashed hair. No makeup. Not even lipstick. What was I thinking?  After pondering the recycling instructions on trash receptacles designed to make even the most diligent environmentalist toss themselves into a landfill,  I marched over to Mr. Cool’s table.

“You know, that guy was right,” I said. “We do make a cute couple.”

He didn’t flash a wedding ring or a police badge. So I sat down and chatted with Mr. Cool just long enough for him to jot down his name, phone number and email address on a Whole Foods napkin.

“Call me,” he said as I walked away grinning with kale between my teeth.

Hooking up at my age? I half-expected Rod Serling to pop out from a display of avocados and announce “You have just entered the Twilight Zone.”

1
Facebook Twitter Google + Pinterest Email
Stacia Friedman

Related Posts

The Summer Hostess Gift Edit

July 7, 2022

Color Crush: The Summer Blues Edit

June 10, 2022

The 2022 Menopause Registry Is Here, And It’s...

May 24, 2022

The Dads In Your Life Will Love The...

May 26, 2022

100 Great Things Under $100 To Treat Yourself...

March 29, 2022

The Top Five Page-Turners To Dive Into

January 20, 2022

Coffee Table Book Gift Guide Is Here For...

December 14, 2021

Organized, Fit, and Active: The Products To Get...

January 18, 2022

A Bath Is The Best Self-Care Ritual This...

January 6, 2022

The Best Things ITG Editors Bought In 2021

December 23, 2021

Life Is Good

Sign Up For Our Newsletter

Stay In The Groove

Subscribe for good times.
We'll party like it’s 1979.

Follow Us On Instagram

  • Accepting our bodies in mid-life is a whole new journey. What
  • lol we know this feeling all too well. Need help refreshing your look? Sign up for our free newsletter. You
  • Every summer, I anxiously wait for the @Nordstrom Anniversary Sale like a kid waiting for Christmas. And clearly, other people do too because things sell out fast. I approach shopping this sale as setting up a foundation for my wardrobe for the next year. There’s tons of new denim, an opportunity to stock up on fresh bras, and plenty of leisurewear and beauty. And if you see something you like, snatch it up while you still can! Head to the link in our bio or follow me on the @shop.ltk app to shop what I
  • What’s the hardest thing for you? Comment below. #womenover50 #over50 #over60 #over60club #womenover60 #boomer #boomers #babyboomer #babyboomers #the60s #60s #70s #womenover50killinit #womenover50club #aging #proaging #aginggracefully #agingunfiltered #agingwell #ageisjustanumber
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter
  • Pinterest
  • Youtube
  • Tiktok
  • About Us
  • Contact Us
  • Advertise
  • Affiliate Disclosure

@2022 - In The Groove | Terms Of Service | Privacy Policy

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. Cookie settingsACCEPT
Privacy & Cookies Policy

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
Non-necessary
Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.
SAVE & ACCEPT