Can one man satisfy all your needs? Maybe for a year or two. But, sooner or later, you will want more men in your life, if not in your bed. Here’s a list of prototypes we think every woman should have on speed dial:
The Golden Retriever–Forever faithful, totally devoted, wants nothing more than to please you. Happy to fetch the dry cleaning, bagels and the Rocky Road ice cream you crave at 2 a.m. Loves to trot by your side on shopping sprees. Will bark his head off if anyone lays a finger on you. Always up for a belly rub.
The Nerd–No cellphone, computer or television meltdown is too daunting for this IT wunderkind. He thrives on the challenge of coming to your rescue when a project you’ve been working on for two months suddenly vanishes from your laptop. Tends to be introverted and shy, but give him a peek of your “cookies” and he’ll go wild.
George Clooney – No offense to Amal, but we all need a Mr. Clooney. A guy who looks as dishy in Armani as in cargo shorts. Who can unhook your bra with just a flicker of his eyebrow and make you laugh your pants off.
The Professor – No one wants to be lectured, but we all could use some intellectual foreplay. This guy has read Kafka in five languages, knows his Nietzsche from his Heidegger, and can recite Dante’s Inferno while lighting your fire.
The Foodie – Nothing is sexier than a man who knows his way around a rump roast. He seduces you with his culinary bravado, from succulent steaks to precocious pies. Even if you’re an accomplished cook, let him be master of the kitchen and submit to the pleasure he gets out of preparing orgasmic meals for you.
Mr. Fix It – Your car’s making that weird sound again. The garage door won’t close. The ceiling is leaking. The heating system sounds like Black Sabbath. This guy rises to every mechanical challenge with the enthusiasm of a racehorse leaving the paddock. He can’t wait to apply his power tools to your enigma.
Mister Phyllis – That’s the name Joan Rivers gave to her hairdresser, but we all know what she meant. If you don’t have a gay man in your life already, run to the nearest leather bar and buy drinks for the house. This is the only man who will honestly tell you if you look fat in that. He’ll never tire of discussing your love life (or his), what to wear to your niece’s Bat Mitzvah and everything you ever wanted to know about Kevin Spacey.
Mr. Excitement – (aka Mr. Maserati) Talk about life in the fast lane, this guy is all about spontaneity and testing the limits. His and yours. You’ll find him under the hood of one of his classic cars, kicking up dust on his dirt bike or making waves with his speed boat. If you think making love in the back seat of a ’56 Chevy is Old School, just try it at 90 mph!
The Banker – This guy understands finance the way Jimmy Choo understands high heels. He has the Dow Jones Average for breakfast, can balance a checkbook while brushing his teeth, and carries a picture of Warren Buffet in his wallet (next to you and the kids). He never takes his eyes off your assets and you can be assured of a strong return on your interest.
The Bohemian – He’s a poet, an actor, a writer, a painter and you are his muse. He prefers sidewalk cafes to 5-star restaurants, art museums and foreign films to Lakers games, and the Kama Sutra to golf. His hair is long, his beard scraggly and he kisses as if his life depends on it. It very well may since his unemployment ran out six weeks ago.
Scoring: If you have one of the above, consider yourself lucky, but keep looking. Two to four, you’ve got a keeper. Five or more, you’ve struck gold. What if the one man in your life encompasses most of the above qualities? Just keep him away from Jennifer Aniston. But do tell us, we’d love to hear from you. Email us at hello@getinthegroove.com
