Dear Adam,
I’ve been whole-box-of-Kleenex, eight-pints-of-Häagen-Daz brokenhearted before, but I was 28 at the time. This is different. I’m 58, and I’m the bedrock of an entire family. I’m supposed to have it all together. Mr. Right turned to Mr. Wrong in eight short months. What the F? Why am I taking this so hard? Can you help me climb out of this terrible hole of sadness?
Dear SS,
Gurl, I have so been there. We all have. Sometimes a break-up kicks our butt so hard that we can’t even recognize it as our own butt anymore.
The loss of a relationship–especially when it’s the one we thought was THE ONE–can cause serious, lasting grief and make us feel like we’ve fallen and we can’t get up. And it doesn’t get any easier just because we’re older and supposedly wiser. These are the times at which no amount of Häagen-Daz will suffice–even the Espresso Chocolate Cookie Crumble flavor (which, let’s be honest, is better than sex).
Here’s the good news, doll: You reached out for help. And that means you’re ready to receive it. So the first thing I’d strongly recommend is that you find a good therapist. You should also see your primary care physician, get a complete check-up and ask him or her about your medication options. There’s a wide array of effective antidepressants out there nowadays, and finding the right one for you could mean the difference between darkness and light.
Beyond that, here are some things that lift me up after some creep has stomped all over my heart: Meditation, physical exercise, listening to music I love (Hello, Broadway!), working on creative projects and, above all, spending time with other people I care about.
You may feel alone, but you are not. As soon as you’re done reading this, phone a friend or family member–someone you really love and trust–and just say, “I need to talk.” I think you’ll be amazed how willing they are to listen, and how much better talking with them will make you feel.
And no matter what, know that there’s light at the end of this tunnel. You’ll get there, honey.
Gaily yours,
Adam
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